Let’s start with sorry 🙈

I’m so sorry it’s been about a month since I last wrote on this blog that’s supposed to be a diary.

Do I make it a daily/weekly diary? I dunno. But I find writing therapeutic so I should make use of

The diary of a pinkaholic.

So keep your eyes peeled here and fingers crossed I’ll put as much goings on as I can.

It’ll be interesting I promise you 😘

Just a shortie…. Like me.

Lots of love xx


When writing touches the heart

This is exactly how I feel like when I write, I want it to touch someone in one way or another. Never to make anyone cry of course but if it’s a lesson to be learnt or a story to make you aware I can’t promise that it won’t bring a little tear. But genuinely I love to bring you happiness and sometimes educate you on things I’ve learnt that I think will value you.

Write from the heart to touch someone’s heart, it makes it all worthwhile.

Bedtime thoughts

So from the title you can probably guess that I’m in my bed curled up. Not comfortably because of surgery but curled up all the same.

So I just watched this programme on channel 4 called naked beach. Getting 3 individuals to have body confidence and maybe by the end of the week (episode) you see if they’ve built up the courage and confidence to bear all. There is 8 positive mentors I guess you could call them that.

It gave me food for thought, about how to appreciate my own body. I know it’s going to always have a bag on it but to love my body I have to look past my extra bit I have now and embrace my scars, stretch marks and my wobbly bits. I always think it’s better to have a bit of curvage about you.

Once it’s lost its swollen /bloatedness I’ll be taking a pic for my scrapbook for sure.

Be proud of all your body can do. Celebrate it.

Recovery and getting back to normality

Hey my beauties,

Sorry for kind of deserting ‘The Diary Of A Pinkaholic. Once I had my surgery on the 18th I was literally doped up on morphine and in la la land for the first week. I couldn’t move very well and the anaesthetic was giving me pain as it tried to work its way out of my body. I was irritated to fook so as soon as i felt I could I came off the strong pain killers and I am now on paracetamol as and when.

I had a huge anxiety attack the beginning of the second week, the biggest I’ve had in the 18 years of suffering with anxiety. I seriously thought this is it.

So once I was fit for discharge on day 10 it was like I can’t bloody wait for my own creature comforts and my bed.

I have had my ups and downs since I’ve been home but it’s still very early days so can’t expect miracles.

They say 6-8 weeks to feel semi normal but I wasn’t ever normal in the beginning ha ha.

Anyways I’ll leave it there for today and I’ll be back in a few days

Much love 💕

Bear with me

I am going to be taking a break from my rambling blog….This one.

I am having major surgery this afternoon and unsure when I will feel normal.

I have however scheduled some blog posts over on my main blog www.holzieloves.co.uk if you want to follow me there.

I’ll be back on here as soon as I can.

Ciao for now xx

Sod Off Anxiety

I love writing poetry and this one came into my head before bed so thought I’d share

Life with anxiety if you can relate

Is the most annoying illness there is to date

It ruins your plans when you are super keen

Why does it have to be so mean?

It makes you feel like your losing your mind

You’re searching for breath you think you can’t find

You search for an escape from this thing you call hell

Oh why oh why does it make you feel unwell

Look here anxiety you aren’t all that

Making people feel like they have been hit hard with a bat

A feeling not a lot can explain

Just leave us alone and don’t come back here again

If you are a sufferer of anxiety, please know you are not alone.

I have some news

For weeks and weeks I’ve been waiting for a phone call or letter from the hospital and the weird this is…. i said to Mum I had a funny feeling it would be today I’d hear and it was 😯 am I psychic or what.

So I am having my bladder removed in just under 2 weeks. After 7 years of it being a pain and rather dysfunctional, I’ll be glad to see the back of it.

If course I’m scared but it’s something I’m hoping will be the best thing to help me.

A friend who I’ve met through having bladder problems (not actually met she lives in the Isle of Wight) sent me this

I think it’s so pretty and it’ll be better to have that to look at rather than a bag of wee 🙈

I’ll keep you updated over the next week or so how my nerves are and how I’m preparing for it, I wanna try and still blog when I can in hospital.

Anyways it’s been a long day gonna hit the hay, whether I nod off quickly is another matter.